1. |
Villa dall'Ava
03:26
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The tissues of my abandonment still have a long way to fully mend
It heals tirelessly and up where the anger crawls it starts to
disappear
Every multiplying cell is an old, scar carrying, memory
Every multiplying cell is a blood curdling disappointment
But can I say that I’ve been trying to move forward?
Can I keep saying that I view love as an organ?
That it grows, it breathes, it creates, it destroys, it dies and decays?
But maybe that’s all there is to it
That what I seek is no more than particles telling me
of how to feel and who to be, and that certain chemistry?
I crave it endlessly
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2. |
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Up to my wrists my pale hands linger in the water
And in the mud my feet are cemented deep
Call it a poor effort, or a valiant attempt
Isolating myself as a form of self defence
A calm and steady current will keep my vices and enemies
At a place where I want them to be
I could scorch the land but it is better left inundated
Puncture the defences
Till they’re beyond repair
A failure by design
Without a soul to bare
My body is a map, parchment skin
My bones are bastions protruding
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3. |
Thorn
04:21
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As I drag my pen across a sheet of paper
A sickness settles in and my heart sinks even deeper
I still don’t understand how a family could just fall apart
In such an awful way, this had to be the devil’s work
It started out with a divorce, what used to be love turned to war.
Such a shame for their sons and eventually for everyone.
After preparing for months the father made his master plan,
So when it would unravel nothing would be the same again
First he took his sons to spend a week in a hotel,
But that was all a lie, perfected in every detail
No goodbyes, no embraces, it would be his final drive
He drove past all these places, I’m not sure why
Maybe for the memories that haunted him through every dream, I wonder if it eased the pain or kept him sane inside his brain
Later that night around half past ten, he rang up the mother and told her where they had been.
I often think of how he felt, as he lied, as he told his former wife that everything was completely fine
But there’s a gap in this story, one that will never be closed
The phone call was the last trace as far as anyone knows
The next day the father was found hanging two feet from the ground
Unclear where he took the kids and unclear what he exactly did
But I felt death in the atmosphere, I felt it in the atmosphere
A great search began
Hoping for the best but everybody kept death at the back of their heads
The mother went insane, because in a blink of an eye she had lost everything
The search went on and on without any result, but then the mother got a call
“We found two bodies”
“They’re your sons”
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4. |
Leo Brouwer
04:01
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Death is rooted in the soil of our present
And dwells in those stuck in the past
So I dug my hands in the earth
There was a burial and a rebirth
I found an old, familiar soul
Whilst losing a part of my own
Nothing will ever fill up the void
There’s no point in blindfolding against the inevitable
And when it’s through loss will find you
I’ve wished for permanence knowing it’s a myth
I’ve begged for endlessness, knowing it doesn’t exist
The only thing more frightening than mortality is time
Because you can’t find peace without a proper goodbye
I’ve promised you “You’ll be fine”
You’ve proven your resilience, now I’ve got to prove mine
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5. |
Arvo Pärt
04:55
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Rain falls on our clouded minds
The mist in our conscience troubles us time and time again
If we could see clearly, we might have a chance to turn things around
But for now, I can only try
Try to see with honest eyes
Try to feel with a shattered heart
Try to live with what life’s become
It makes me sick, to think, about what, could have been
What we left, to dissolve, in the waters of time
I’m drowning in fear, of what we have missed
Or it was all a dream
A figment of my imagination
The distorted perspective
Through which I sense the past
Keeps me from changing all at hand
I wish I could be certain I did my best
I wish I could be certain and lay this to rest
And lay this to rest
Wake up
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Second Guessing Utrecht, Netherlands
Second Guessing is a 4-piece screamo/post-hardcore band based in Utrecht, The Netherlands formed in 2013.
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